


Say It

by irregularjen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Fear, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, M/M, NCT Dream - Freeform, Say it, commitments, idk what to tag, relationship, timid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26104789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irregularjen/pseuds/irregularjen
Summary: Walking among these people made me realize how lonely I was. Seeing the world so happy made me even think, "What did I do to deserve to be treated like this?"Then, I bumped to someone."Oh! Renjun?" Lee Jeno. I smiled weakly."How's everything going on?" He said with a smile that can cure the broken heart in me. I shook my head and asked him instead and he stared blabbing about his life.How's everything you say? I was fine until you came. Honestly even before, I was fine until you came.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Kudos: 9





	Say It

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy reading! Please critic or leave a kudos. ILY

Walking among these people made me realize how lonely I was. Seeing the world so happy made me even think, "What did I do to deserve to be treated like this?"

Then, I bumped to someone.

"Oh! Renjun?" Lee Jeno. I smiled weakly. 

"How's everything going on?" He said with a smile that can cure the broken heart in me. I shook my head and asked him instead and he stared blabbing about his life.

How's everything you say? I was fine until you came. Honestly even before, **_I was_** **_fine until you came._**

"Hi? What class are you in?" This boy in front of me is smiling at me. A ray of hope came into me. Do I not look scary anymore?

"In class ST11A5," I answered smiling back. 

"Aw too bad I'm in A6." He asked me to go with him as we have the same hallway but with different rooms. 

While walking he reached out his hand, "I'm Lee Jeno." 

_**Don't say it. Don't say it.**_ My mind keeps telling me not to say my name.

Hesitantly I reached out my hand back, "Huang Renjun." 

After this interaction we hang out most of the time. We study together, we go on cat cafes, although he has cat allergies but he said, "You like them."

He’s so friendly to me. I finally felt accepted.

"I heard you were sick yesterday, I bought you some homemade soup!" He knew I was an exchange student and living alone in this big city. 

Days passed and we became closer and closer. He always tells me how he raised a cat because of me. One day he saw a stray cat and the cat reminded him of me and brought him home. _The cat was weak and frail, afraid of strangers._ _**Ah, that's me.** _

"Renjun, meet me at the cat cafe tomorrow," he laughed heartily and bid goodbye, went to his class.

"I'm sorry. I'm late," he huffed. Then he went to buy me my favorite snacks and drink.

He came withhis hands full then it became quiet. Really quiet.

He cleared his throat and says, "Renjun, I like you."

Shocked. Fear. Thankful. Various of emotions ran through me. I was scared of falling in love. People around me told how cold I was. How inexpressive i was. I was scared. Very frightened.

"I know how timid and shy you are. I know but why can I do if I like you so much," he covered his face with his hands.

"Will you go out with me?" he stares, awaiting for an answer.

And we did. We dated depite of my fears. We we were so happy during our six years.

I hoped this happiness would last long and I hoped Jeno and I wouldn't give up no matter what. 

"Renjun, I'll love you till the rest of my life. We've been together for six years now. We'll surely be together until the end. Happy Sixth to us" He confidently says while we dance slowly to IU's song. We whispered our I love you's to each other and danced until we were tired.

I wasn't, he was. 

He was tired. 

"I'm tired." Jeno says mumbled hurrying to go out.

"Where are you going?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'll be back before midnight." He went out.

I waited until midnight and decided to sleep as the morning approaches. 

Four AM at dawn my phone rang, and I answered, "Hello? Is this Huang Renjun?" 

"Yes this is him, and who are you?" The caller was Na Jaemin.

"Hey can you collect your man here?" Jaemin says the address and ended the call.

I arrived at the house. I saw Jeno and Jaemin talking outside before I came too close I heard their conversation.

"You know, I never knew I would get tired. I thought I could really love him forever. Right now I am just tired. I truly care for Renjun. I truly do but sometimes it feels like Renjun's afraid of everything. It feels like dating myself," he laughs the proceeded to say how he wished I would be more expressive, he wished I showed him more love.

But I did. During those years all I did was love him. Adore him. Laugh with him. Care for him. All I did was with him. He was my fresh air. He was my everything. 

I pretended to hear nothing and went closer.

"Huang!" Jaemin nudged Jeno. 

"Hey baby!" Jeno hugged me like nothing happened. 

I hugged him back and dragged him and said byes and thank you to Jaemin.

I dropped him off his mom house and went on my way to my house not going to our apartment.

Days passed, I ignored him. I cannot handle what he said. I was betrayed, broken, depressed but I got to keep going.

I was there. I was always there quietly beside him. He didn't even saw, understood and believed my feelings for him? I did everything. I broke my own comfort. 

I contacted him after a week of cooling myself. 

"Jeno, lets meet up at our usual cat cafe."

I saw Jeno there on the window in our usual seat with my favorite snacks and drink.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I slightly bowed. 

"Its fine." then silence came.

He knew. He knew what I was mad for.

"Jeno." 

"Renjun."

We both called each other at the same time. I proceeded to say what’s on my mind.

"You know how it hurts when I clearly showed how I loved you? I showed you what I felt all throughout our six years. It hurts, Jeno. Was I really not expressive enough?"

I looked down when Jeno started calling my name.

"Renjun. I'm sorry you have to go through this."

" ** _Say it_** Jeno. Will you please be honest with me? Please. You know I believe your every word. So please. **_Say it_**."

_**No, don't say it. No, don't say it. No**. _

"I'm sorry Renjun. I hope you find someone who can love you who is like you. I'm sorry I'm not gonna be that person."

"You deserve to be happy." I tried to smile and told him to go then he went out. 

I looked around and saw a cat that is outcasted; I picked the cat up and patted him. 

"One day, baby. One day. We will find our greatest circle of friends and loved ones." 

A tear dropped and I hugged the cat and let him go. I wiped my tears and went out of the cafe and thought to go back to China to start all over again. 

Jeno stopped blabbing. "Wait Renjun, I've got a call."

"Hun? Yes, I just met one of my friends today. Sorry it got too long. He's a longtime friend of mine, I couldn't just ignore. Okay. Okay I'll be there. Love you," Jeno laughs. He bid his goodbyes and we went on our separate ways. 

He doesn't know what I went through after. I was hurting. I was blaming myself of everything. I doubted everything happened in my life. Now he's got someone who loves him, who gives Jeno lots of love, who will show him the love I did not give.

I went on my way and thought, "Will I be really loved by someone?" 


End file.
